Coat Hunt

... sort of like ghost hunt... therefore making this post Halloween appropriate?

Anyway. Yesterday I heard that Old Navy was selling coats for $29. I was just telling my dad I needed a coat- I have winter coats, but I don't really have anything to wear in Fall and Spring besides my old Freshman Academy fleece, and sadly, I feel like I might have to start wearing it less now that I'm a student at the big H.

So... I took advantage of the powers at google and found the closest Old Navy store, which happened to be at the mall down by the church building.

I walked to the bus stop and took the bus to the mall, in search of these cheap coats, hoping they weren't sold out (sales in UT like that were always picked over by like 10 am).

I found racks and racks and racks of coats. I originally picked out this one:



I liked it because it was a little more dressy and could match everything I own (unlike the bright green, or even black. I'm trying to branch out from black and brown.) I tried it on and it was really light and didn't seem like it would be that warm. It wasn't super flattering either. And it was dryclean only. Sad.

And then I found this coat:


I liked this one a lot. It had a tag for $30, so it seemed like a better buy. And with the fleece inside, it was nice and cozy. I put it on and zipped it up and felt nice and warm; maybe not nice and warm in the middle of the winter, but for Fall and Spring it would be perfect. And it's really lightweight, which was nice. It's not as dressy, but it could still work with my nicer clothes and casual clothes. And it was machine wash!! But they didn't have it in my size. :(

So I left and came home and tried to find it online. It was listed at only $20!! But they still don't have it in my size. Sad :( So, I'm putting out a distress signal. If any of you end up at an Old Navy store some time soon and see this coat in a size Medium for $20-$30, please buy it and I will pay you back! (I'm looking at you, sisters).

Otherwise I'm just gonna continue to wear my Freshman Academy fleece or my winter coats, so don't worry; I'm not freezing to death.

Anyway- I left the mall empty-handed (well, not quite; I bought dinner) and walked to the stake center for stake conference which was really uninspiring. Then I took the T home with Peter Pan, Waldo, boys in togas, and girls in skimpy dresses. Wearing my church clothes, I wondered if they were trying to figure out who I was "supposed to be". It was an experience.

-mollie

Dear TLC...

Thank you for your show "Sister Wives" that makes my life as a Mormon young adult in Boston about 5 bajillion times harder.

Love,
Mollie

Seriously though- a fairly large minority of people at school know I'm Mormon. It comes with the territory of saying "I went to Brigham Young University in Utah." In the last two days, I've had two people talk to me directly, asking about all the weird things on the show, and overheard another person talk about this in the context of how weird Mormon culture is. When I say "That's not Mormonism" they say "Well, they refer to themselves as Mormon on the show."

Of course they do.

Apparently, there's also a man who rotates which bed he sleeps in each night, and talks about his quest to find a fourth wife and how he can't hold hands or kiss her until they're married.

One of my least favorite past times is trying to convince people Mormons are normal when there are things like this on television. I truly forgot how much energy it takes to always be explaining without getting defensive.

No, those people aren't Mormon even though they say they are. No, we don't have to wear long dresses all the time. No, we don't practice polygamy. Yes, we build temples. No, you can't go in them. Yes, we can dance (well, to the extent that we're able). Yes, we celebrate Christmas and birthdays. Yes, we can kiss people before we're married. No, I didn't go to my sisters' weddings. Yes, we're Christian. Yes, people go on missions. No, I don't have to go. No, I don't drink alcohol or coffee. Yes, I can have soda. No, we don't do our hair a certain way. Yes, we can use birth control. Yes, we go to church a lot.

I am grateful that people feel comfortable enough to ask and don't just assume things. And I like getting a chance to correct misconceptions and explain the real beliefs when people are genuinely curious. But it's exhausting sometimes. So thank you TLC, for conveniently providing the general public with misconceptions about the Mormon faith that I then have to correct, or feel awkward not correcting. Your broadcast of two of my very favorite shows (What Not to Wear and Say Yes to the Dress) does not make up for this. It is with great sadness that I announce I am officially adding you to my "Dead To Me" list.







p.s.- sorry for the flood of posts lately- blogging has become one of my favorite forms of procrastination.

Every Other Day of the Week is Fine

Last night I was up talking to my roommates for longer than any of us had time for. But I like them, and it was a nice way of avoiding homework for the night.

So, as I went to bed at 11 pm, my roommates said "We've got to get to bed to wake up at __a normal hour_" and I said "I've gotta wake up at 5! Just another Monday..."

As I retreated down the stairs to my lair, Sarah started singing "Monday, Monday"

I tried to psych myself into making Monday a good day even though I knew I was going to be short on sleep. I got my stuff together so the morning could be a little lazy if I wanted it to be. I got in bed all nice and cozy with an extra blanket because it was a little chilly, and checked my alarm before quickly falling asleep. I half-awoke this morning thinking "No, I don't want to get out of bed yet. But my alarm should be going off soon..." So I sort of rolled over and waited about 5 minutes before I decided "Ok, I should really get up. What time is it anyway?"

Fully expecting to see the number 4 on my clock, it took my head about 5 seconds to process the information. I looked and then looked again, and then said "HOLY CRAP!!!!"

Anyone want to guess how late it was?

I had to be up at 5, so... maybe 5:30?

No no. My clock said 7:25.

7:25??!?!?!!?

School starts in 15 minutes and I just got out of bed!!!!!

I went bolting up the stairs to make sure my clock wasn't all whacky and realized that yes, it was 7:25. I woke up 2 hours and 25 minutes late.

I ran back down the stairs and took the fastest shower of my life, threw my hair in a pony tail, and seriously ripped clothes from their hangers as fast as I could. I had all my stuff (including a lunch, so I wouldn't be late AND have to get lunch...) and was out the door in 30 minutes, which I consider pretty impressive.

Lucky for me, it was raining (which I didn't know was forecast) so I stood and waited for the bus and got my pants soaked. But the bus came pretty quickly and we packed in, which is when I realized I had, lucky for me again, woken up so late that I was now part of the rush-hour commute (which I usually avoid, traveling at 6 am). I got to the T station, and, lucky for me, the T was broken. Everyone had to get off the red line and wait on the platform.

The train was already packed, and in that time more people had accumulated waiting to get onto the next train, so I got to stand awkwardly squished into a very small space with parts of me touching parts of other people that I try not to think about.

We got going again and the announcer came on and said "We're delayed because of a disabled train in front of us." OF COURSE we are because they just made all of us get off that one!

By this time, I figured hope was lost and I might as well just suck it up and forget it. I mean really, there's no way to make up for an almost 2.5 hour delay. So the T is broken. So what? I'm like... 2 hours late instead of an hour and 45 minutes? Big deal. The damage had already been done.

But I still tried to hustle my way out to Malden Center, where I got off and walked to the school. It didn't matter because I was on foot, but Main Street was blocked and closed with fire trucks and I just thought "Of course. Because why not?"

I made it to the school at 9:30. 2 Hours after I woke up and 2 hours after I was supposed to be there. 4.5 hours after I was supposed to wake up. Even though I cut my prep time to 30 minutes, my 1 hour commute got turned into 1.5 hours thanks to the T.

Everyone was very forgiving at the school, but I felt like a total reject.

I went to class after practicum and now I'm home again. And I'm thinking about "Monday, Monday" from The Mamas and the Papas that my roommate started singing last night.

"... But whenever Monday comes... you can find me cryin' all of the time..."

That's about right.

-mollie

p.s.- well, on the bright side, I got a full night's sleep!

p.p.s.- I'm proctoring SATs on Saturday. That's a little weird.

Another dream

Dear Megan,

Last night I had a dream that we were going on a cruise up the shore to Nova Scotia. It was leaving from Boston and I was already on the boat scoping out the food (they had a Chinese food place I was inspecting) waiting for you to get there.

Then there were some unknown adults who were there with Will and told me they sent him to the bathroom. I said, "He's FIVE! You can't send him off alone!" and ran off to go find him (which I did, and he was fine). And then Dad was there.

It was odd.

But it made me want to go on a vacation. And see Will.

The end.

In the News

So if you've seen the national news in the past couple days, you have probably heard the name "Asher Brown".

A 13 year old boy who shot himself in his parent's home last week and died. The news is calling it another tragedy based on bullying and in-school discrimination based on sexual orientation that administration will do nothing about.

I don't know why, but the first time I heard the story, I was a little skeptical. This morning I saw the parents on The Today Show and I'm more skeptical. Not that I don't think he killed himself- I do. And no matter what the reason or motivation, I think it's awful and kids shouldn't have to die.

But I have issues with his parents. I just think there's more to the story than what the news is reporting about it. First, the parents made their statement in outrage at the school district. The parents say they complained to anyone who would listen to them about the bullying of their son at the school. The school says they never received complaints from the parents except for an email at the beginning of the year documenting their son's past history of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). The parents then said they were outraged that the school was calling them liars.

Perhaps the school is just trying to cover its own butt, but I am more tempted to agree with the school on that one. Maybe it's because I'm in MA right now where every school has been implementing new anti-bullying curriculum mandated by law. Not to mention I'm in a counselor ed. program, which makes me think about these things differently. I looked at the website for the school in Texas that the boy attended and I didn't find a specific anti-bullying program, but their handbook does say bullying in any form is a level 3 disciplinary violation and will be considered with the seriousness of drug possession, stealing, or burglary. They have a student conduct policy that includes statements about bullying and respect for others.

I'm not saying that having these policies in place means the school isn't capable of gross oversight as is potentially true in this situation. But, I do think having the policy is an indication that they're at least thinking about the issue. And at this time in education, when issues of bullying have been flooding the news, schools know to take bullying complaints seriously given their own liability in the issue.

Which is why I thought it was interesting that the school came out and said they hadn't gotten any complaints- they must be sure of that. And they acknowledged that they did get an email from the parent at the beginning of the year. So it wasn't like they said "We know absolutely nothing about this student." Not that it matters, but part of my problem is that this kid transferred to a new school this year, and the parents say they were worried that he had been bullied at his previous school. (Which by the way, raises questions about that school. Did they sue that school too? Did they make formal complaints there?) Anyway. So they put him in a new school. But do they go in to talk to the school counselors or principals? No, they send an email. Assumed to be not related to the child's history of bullying, but telling the school their son has a history of PTSD? That's not really something that should be dropped in an email.

It just seems weird that the parents were concerned about the PTSD and bullying, so they sent an email. About the PTSD, but not about the bullying. Maybe when the bullying started at the new school, they did call the school. But, their history of dealing with serious issues is to send emails, which they didn't do in the case of the bullying. The school website has information on how to file formal complaints with the district, which would result in conference with a principal or superintendent, but they didn't do that. And still, why didn't they show up at the school to talk to someone if they were really worried?

Less than a week after their child took his own life, they're on The Today Show saying they are going to be pursuing a lawsuit against the school. Their son's funeral hasn't even happened yet. Neither parent was crying, and they weren't even sitting close to each other, holding hands, or anything. I know there's shock involved when anyone close to you dies, so they may not be ready to mourn. But... why are they on national TV before they've even buried their child?

The mother gave a description of all these specific bullying incidents at the school, but then she says her son told her he was "fine" the night before he died. If he was so open about the bullying, why didn't he tell her?

And the news said his stepfather said he had told them he was gay over the summer and the stepfather believed the son had possibly started telling students at the school, fueling the bullying. But then on the news this morning they said he told his stepfather he was gay the morning or day before he died. When Meridith Viera asked the stepfather what his response was, he said "I told him Ok. That's ok." It just seems weird. When did the kid tell the parents he was gay? Was it over the summer? Or the day he died? Maybe it's just a case of bad reporting, but still.

Why was there a gun accessible in the house? And I know "latchkey kids" aren't uncommon, but why was he alone?

Why does the son have a history of PTSD? What happened? And what's the story behind the child having a different last name? Where's his father? How long has his mother been remarried?

I don't know. It just seems like there's more to that story than the news is reporting. As I said, I still think it's sad and awful, but I'm wondering about the family. And the PTSD. And why they didn't show up in person at the school. And why they're suddenly on this campaign to let everyone know the school district is going to hell. I'm guessing there were some incidents of bullying at the school. But I'm just not sure the school is entirely to blame here. It's sad and it shouldn't have happened, I just wonder if there'll be more to it.

It doesn't really matter. The school is still going to get their pants sued off them. But if the counselors and administrators were doing their jobs, these things are seriously documented and their records will show they didn't do anything wrong. Or maybe they'll prove the school did ignore their complaints.

I'm just sayin'. I'm inclined to think there's more to it.