based on a true story

So.

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a beautiful, wonderful, fabulous girl(poetic license) who had a laptop. She received this laptop when she graduated from high school. A present from her parents. "Go out and conquer the world with it," they said. So the girl did.

She carted her trusty laptop to college with her, all the way across the country. It stayed up with her many nights as she wrote papers, completed assignments, and watched movies. It brought her much happiness by delivering emails from friends and family, while also connecting her to the outside world through news etc. The laptop was the girl's only companion as she flew all the way to England and lived there for 2 months. That laptop had earned a special place in the girl's heart.

And then, one fall day, the girl started getting funny errors on her laptop. What was happening?! She worried that her laptop might be sick. She purchased an external hard drive so all her important life's documents could be saved in case her laptop didn't make it though. It was rough for a while, but then things started looking up.

So, the laptop followed the girl through another semester of school, dependably working through more papers, assignments, movies, and YouTube nights. For Christmas that year, the girl got a new netbook; but she was still loyal to her trusty laptop. The netbook, though cuter and younger, still played second fiddle. And then, it happened. Two months before the girl graduated from college, and the laptop could have been retired for a short while, it happened. She was reading the news online and went into the kitchen to make a peanut butter and banana sandwich. When she came back, she saw it. Her screen had gone black, with a big white box and red lettering: "YOUR SYSTEM HAS BEEN INFECTED."

Her heart raced. "How do I save you?!" she frantically wondered aloud. Relying on her cure-all for computer problems, she shut it down and rebooted. And there again, the same words. The task manager was frozen, and her anti-virus software said "No components"- wiped clean. She couldn't click on anything. Shut down again. Reboot. Same thing. And then the pop-up windows came. First one, then another and another until her whole screen was covered. "If only CPR stood for Computer-pulmonary resuscitation!" she moaned.

She thought. And thought again. "Where are my brothers when I need them?!" she thought. So she called her brother, but no response. More pop-ups. She called again. Still no response. Ok, plan B. "Where is my brother-in-law?" So she called her sister and announced she would be over shortly to deliver the dying machine. Like an ambulance with a critical patient, she left her computer exactly as it was and carefully strapped it into the front seat, driving to her sister's house as far over the speed limit as she could manage without being obvious.

And she rushed the trusty laptop inside, to the waiting hands of her brother-in-law. He reassured her, as doctors probably do even though they know it's the end. He tried to fix it. It didn't work. He tried to fix it again. It didn't work. "Look, maybe you should go home and get some rest." "But I don't want to leave his side. Don't you have a cot?" Finally, at 10:30pm, the girl drove home. Disappointed, and worried. She got ready for bed and washed her hands thoroughly and mindlessly, before realizing what she was doing and remembering that washing her hands would not prevent the spread of a virus on a computer. She slept anxiously dreaming of every possible outcome. "Please, just come back so I can say good-bye. And by say good-bye I mean get everything off you. Please." She even entertained a short thought about having to pull the plug once and for all. But she was not ready to accept that possibility.

It's been 24 hours. Still nothing. No word. Things don't look good.

And now, the girl sits to blog. On her new, younger, netbook. Was her laptop just jealous? "You've replaced me. I'll show you." Or was it just holding out long enough to know that the girl would be taken care of. "You've found someone new; I can go now; you'll be alright." The world will never know.

And now we wait, with bated breath, to see if they live happily ever after.

-mollie

p.s.- I hate whoever or whatever gave my laptop a virus.

p.p.s.- I took a test yesterday. The professor curves the score so whoever got the highest score then becomes 100% and everyone moves up. I set the curve with a 92%- sweet!

p.p.p.s.- I was inducted into Phi Kappa Phi tonight, and enjoyed my $70 dinner as much as was possible. And ate two desserts, thank you very much.

p.p.p.p.s.- I am flying to Denver on Friday around 5 with my bosses and 4 other peer mentors to present at the First-Year Experience Conference (presentation = How to use peer mentors to facilitate student reflection and deep learning). I will be back on Monday night

p.p.p.p.p.s.- since The Incident, I have developed an intense internet phobia. I don't know how much you'll hear from me in the near future. I only go to gmail, and log in and out as fast as I can. (Note: I have no idea if this is a rational way to behave in regards to computer illnesses)